The Struggle is Real

A conversation with myself about my struggle with reading on a daily basis. Why, when I love reading so much, I find it hard to finish books after starting them.

Dr. Abbas (DA) and I (Abbas’s Brain-AB) have spent a lifetime together, literally, since I live inside his brain. Here I finally sat down with him after he gracefully made time for me to question his strange and bewildering reading habits.

AB: Do you really consider yourself a reader?

DA: Reading is like breathing for me. It is like the soul for my body. I don't think I could live without reading.

AB:I have noticed that over the years you have kept up a good reading habit, though there have been times when you have fell off the wagon so to speak. Why do you start so many books but never seem to finish most of them?

DA: I am reader. Just like some people are writers, cooks, artists, I consider myself a reader. Part of reading is making sure no book escapes my attention. God bless Amazon, which has made acquiring books so much easier. I may not agree with Amazons corporate practices but the ease of a few clicks and voila, another box at the door! I mean who can beat that?

AB:That wasn't my question though. As usual, your brain has taken another side street, which I have noticed you do a lot, since I live in there. Why not finish some of the books you have at home before buying more?

DA: I see that you have gone back to that same annoying habit of asking questions that I dislike. If this is how this interview will go, I won't do this.

AB:Well let me frame it another way, what books are you reading these days?

DA: Ah, my favorite topic! I am reading, The Silk Roads, Cynical Theories, Muhammad by Martin Lings, Thinking Fast and Slow, The Conservative Mind, A Study of History, The...

AB: That's exactly my point, Those are some wonderful books in that list, but why not finish one and than move to the next? Some of them you have been at it for months..

DA: You interrupted me right at the start of the list and now I can't even remember the rest. This is how you distract me from my reading don't you? All these books are amazing and I just love being able to keep so many things going in my mind at the same time.

AB:Lets talk about The Silk Roads. That is a book that you had been writing notes on and actually managed to finish the first five chapters! How did that feel?

DA: It felt great! That is an amazing book, though it has some limitations in some of the things it gets wrong about Islamic history, but then who doesn't? I did make my own corrections in those chapters and hope to continue that joyful process in the next few weeks.

AB:You keep on reading about how distracting the phone and social media is and even tell your patients to stay away from it as much as they can, especially around night time. Why don't you apply that rule on yourself?

DA: God knows how much agony I go through every night thinking about that stupid phone right next to me. I think it is alive and just walks back to my side even if I hide it somewhere. Twitter is also to be blamed I think. All the news that I don't really need is there and then the desire to go viral. Phew! It sends shivers up my spine. My right hand will most likely take an early retirement with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. I promise you, right here and now, that I will not sleep with the phone next to me after Ramadan. I need the alarm to wake me up that month. After that, its gone.

AB:You could always buy another alarm clock like you tell your kids...

DA: I know I can do it! Did I tell you that A Study of History is not an easy book to read. It has ten volumes and I think I might be able to finish the first volume in a year or so. But hey, Its the journey right.

AB: How many books did you buy in the last 2 months?

DA: Oh I never keep a count. Maybe 30 or 40. Its not right to count. My greatest fear is something happening to the Amazon delivery service. Its like your neighborhood drug dealer gets busted and then you have no one to turn to, except the guy under the local bridge. The quality just goes downhill. Lets pray for Amazon together.

AB: And that is a wrap for today as I don't think he is capable of rational thought at this time. There he goes into Lala land again. Sigh...